Delfina Piretti

She is one of the most lovely, beautiful, talented people I know, and she is a client.  When she sits in my chair, I know I am in for a rich time.  She is an artist, and just returned from Xuahaca, Mexico, and other small towns, like Juchitan. She loved it, walking the streets, going to local markets, and seeing how the women dressed.  The land is barren, and yet the women wear the colors of a rainbow.  You won't see them wearing jeans and tennis shoes, but rather, embroidered dresses, ribbons and flowers in their hair.  And if they are feeling down, they will be sure to dress in the brightest colors.  And, as only traveling to another country can do, she was led inward to her own soul.  Delfina offered, ""Chronicles of travels through the Isthmus of Tehuantepec (which Juchitan is a part of) inevitably speak of fascination. Oddly enough, however, rather than express their wonder at the place, the architecture or the natural surroundings, chroniclers confess to having fallen irremediably under the seductive spell of the women." (La Tehuana /Artes de Mexico)

Juchitan is known for being a place where the woman are a cultural phenomenon in and of themselves, with their bodies, their clothing, their community rites and everyday activities, they create an environment, and rhythm of life that is unique to it. They are mythical in the most classical sense of the word, because their worldly existence and living rituals sustain and reproduce that myth. Thought these women are clearly Mestizas, the mythic voyage toward the Tehuana is a voyage to the roots,to the origins. An awed leap not only into the cultural wellspring constituted by the idea of Mexico, but to the buried mythic foundations of culture where matriarchy was apparently the rule. 

When i asked Na Marcelina about this she said it shouldn't be misunderstood that the women 'rule' the men. It's a place where the women are equal to the men, and mostly hold the position as the  primary  breadwinner.  When i asked Na Marcelina about this she said, 'It shouldn't be misunderstood that the women 'rule' the men. It's a place where the women are equal to the men, and mostly hold the position as the primary  breadwinner.'"

The land, the color, the people, the conversation, hearing another language, eating the food, all of it stimulating the mind, the psyche, and remembering what has happened before, and seeing, for brief moments, what the future holds.  Delfina is an artist, and is open to what life brings her, and is not afraid to go after what she wants.  By being open, she was led to an 78 year old Shamana, a wrinkled-faced woman with eyes full of life. She gave a healing, and repeated several times, ""you are the architect of your life".  She then fed her soup, and shared her own story, and gave her a healing.  The "session" lasted four hours and left Delfina changed.

Delfina added, "I needed to hear this for my own healing.  In shamanic tradition they teach that we co-create the universe.  For women it is important to feel empowered to realize our dreams against all odds. This is my wish this for all people. In my work as an expressive arts therapist, I use many mediums to assist in healing and finding greater ease and clarity on the journey called life."

Changes can be hard, and painful, and not to be taken lightly.  Delfina is brilliant at being right where she is, and feeling.  By telling me her story, I feel changed and open, and was reminded, our soul takes us on a trip we can't always understand.  Somehow though, I believe we are led to what we need and ultimately desire.  Upon returning home, and feeling a bit blue, and getting a haircut, she said, "Maybe I will go get a flower and put it in my hair."

Thank you Delfina.

To see some of Delfina's art, check out :  www.delfinapiretti.com/painting.html

The Dark Side of the Beauty Industry

I read this today and thought to myself, bravo, another mother writes about how the beauty industry is perpetuating in our young girls, the desire for it's products.  It frightens me! Referring to the 6-to 9-year old, as the "starter market?"  It almost makes me sick.  The issues that this presents is huge, and completely sad to me.  The fact that they will not allow our girls to be girls, but forces them to be concerned about image long before they are prepared to deal with the issues it presents, is truly maddening.

And, I would agree, it starts at home.  Most parents indulge the fantasy way more than I am comfortable.  I've seen it, and I know from personal experience, it is difficult to say no, to the young girl who spots pink sparkling heels her size.

What to do, but to continue to talk about it, and write about it!

Check out the mom blog for more info on this article.

Flat Iron Allure

I've been at war with what I do for a long time.  The beauty industry can seem so shallow, and full of itself, everybody taking themselves much to seriously.  At times, it can feel as though I am participating in the this large web of nonsense, which can make most women feel like they are on the outside.  And yet, for 27 years I've been standing behind the chair, helping women feel good about the way they look, is a very powerful act.  Because some of these women don't get approval, or made to feel beautiful at home, or at their work, it's vital to their self-esteem that they get it somewhere.  And if I haven't achieved this one thing for my client, than I have failed at my job. I had a client come in the other day, who I've seen for a couple of years.  She's made a couple of changes with her style, usually encouraged by her.  And when she does, she is firm about it.  The last style change, she brought in a picture of herself, long ago.  Her hair just sat in a long, bowl shaped, heavy look, almost looking like a wig.  "Outdated."  I thought to myself.  But I went with it, knowing I'd be able to update the look by letting her know it would look that much better if we made some adjustments. The idea of growing her hair frizzy, curly, hair out was unappealing.  But we began a six month process of growing it out.  We have achieved what she was going for, a feeling of more femininity.  We continue to talk about cutting off the medium brown, colored hair and letting her white hair show.  The color is pretty, I just wonder about the texture and being white.  I would like to see it.

The other day, I decided to flat iron her hair.  She has so wanted straight hair, and yet, she has only chemically straightened her hair once.  I'm relieved, perfectly smooth hair has always been difficult for me to accept.  Well, you would have thought I had made her world perfect.  She loved it!  Ohhing and ahhing out the door.

Then the calls started.  One the next morning, one that afternoon. She could only speak to me.  I called her back and got her machine, after a couple of rounds of calls, we spoke.  "Rebecca, I love my hair."  I laughed, and said, 'Great!'  "No, you have to understand.  I feel pretty.  I have never felt this way about the way I look."  Her husband dropped his jaw.  Men are looking at her.  The calls continued about setting up appointments to flat iron her hair, and then having to change them.

She feels conflicted about this, and I do to.  Her hair needs to be cut, if she is going to be wearing it straight.  Will she do it?  And, she feels at some level, she is fighting her hair. And, now with all the phone calls, it's a lot to manage if I have to be the one to make and move her appointments.  Regardless, the fact that she feels pretty, makes it all worth it. 

Diva of All Time

Cordelia is an artist, and she is a client.  She lives and breathes creativity, i.e., garden stones with "Garden Diva" spelled out with pieces of colored glass.  Not the commercial stuff you see in garden stones, but the real deal--artful and unique.  Gizzey dolls made of stamped, stuffed cotton, modern clothes, and lace-up fabric shoes, pearls for breasts, different size buttons for eyes, and best of all, fabric remnants from our friend Giselle Shepatin shredded to create long locks of hair.  Wooden treasure boxes, painted, studded and stamped, pieces of glass in-layed on the top to create mosaic, "tell your truth" scrolled inside on the lid, little pieces of wood, line the inside of the lid, the bottom lined with mink.  Cut off finger gloves, then sewn around the fingers with a contrasting color, Turkish buttons sewn around the cuff.  These were all gifts to me.

She is feeling it right now, the creative juices are running wild.  Her six year business of staging houses is New Moon Designs. sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/rts/611777310.html.  Staged houses to Gizzy Dolls.  She doesn't think about being creative, she just has to create.  She wants us to save the Gloria Heads she saw piled up in the break-room at the salon the other day, she sees an art project waiting to happen.

I used her for a model the other day.  She brought in tortas de papas, guacamole and chips, and agua de frescas, and we applied makeup (I'm practicing what I learned in the class the other day).  Then I crimped her hair, I seem to be in a crimping mode these days.  While I smoothed plum eyeshadow over her lids, we talked about travels, our parents, experiences, friends, she told me she was a musician as well.

She is a marvel for sure.  Generous, gorgeous, and talented beyond words.  Loyal as all get out.  And a friend I will have for all time.

Inmates in Beauty School

I read in the Boston Herald an article about inmates doing time in beauty school.  http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view.bg?articleid=1080673&srvc=home&position=5.  I have to say that I was shocked, and dismayed at the level of vehemence and intolerance that this article activated for people.  Inmate issues are all of our issues.  We do have a responsibility to create functioning human beings that come out of prisons.  To continue to have disregard for humanity and dignity of all people, troubled or not, is the crime.  We cannot continue to put people behind bars, build more prisons(which puts money in the hands of wealthy developers), and give them no way to support themselves when they come out. I say kudos to the inmates for wanting to better themselves, to the woman who trained them, and to the facility for being forward thinking, in what seems a very narrow sighted community.  

The fact that these inmates took to hairdressing, is a sign that something was sparked inside of them.  What better situation could we provide,  but an environment to help connect them to their own creative expression.  Helping people to develop skills in communication, caring for others, job training, and creativity seems our duty. 

Creative expression, in whatever form, is essential to all living beings, and to not have it, foster it, has dire consequences.  I was simply delighted to read this article.

The Insipid Pair of Jeans

Nobody dresses anymore, men or women.  Jeans is all I see, and I find them utterly boring!  I find it very sad.  Everybody looks the same. I do love fashion in and of itself.  The eccentricity, the fabric, the design, the minds that think up new twist on old themes, all delight me.  Even if it is something I don't like, I can appreciate the idea, the concept, the color, or the fabric.  It's pure fantasy!  I appreciate beauty, I always have, and I always will.  When I go to work, with thought to what I am wearing, I feel I adds something to my environment.  It makes me feel connected to my own creativity, to myself, more grounded somehow.  It makes me feel as though I am participating with the life, and the world around me.

I'm not trendy by any means, and I certainly don't buy what other's say is in fashion.  I will look at magazines for inspiration though.  What is happening in fashion does dictate what is going on with hair, they are connected.  And I feel it is my job to inspire my clientele with these images, to inspire them to change, to grow.  And if  I am wearing jeans, I just don't see how it can happen.  Jeans are not me.

I'm not talking about people being uncomfortable, I'm not talking about people buying, buying, and buying.  I'm talking about caring, and tending to their own inner life, to their own joy, to the place that inspires them, and dressing from that place.  Jeans feel to easy.  And, are they a cop out?  Are people just to afraid to look different from anybody else?

Have people become apathetic?  The world is filled with violence, and hatred.  Beauty, love, and speaking up to injustice is the anecdote.  And it starts with ourselves. 

Possessed Hairstylist

I can't get enough.  It may be time for therapy.  Hair and beauty is an obsession.  Reading articles, writing, building a make-up /hair kit, wanting to photograph every client, and finally craft a portfolio, producing my own fashion show, doing hair at the LA and New York Fashion Weeks, traveling to Paris to rest, study and be inspired, giving to groups of people around the globe.  The ideas don't stop!  Even the thought of owning my own salon ran through my mind over the last couple of months, but how could I?  I wouldn't have time for all the other interests I have.  Are these all manifestations of one and the same?  Or am I completely psychotic? My creative energy overflows into my sessions with clients.  Today marked by awesome color combinations, and silhouettes made clients, and I, swoon.  And yet, I  raced the clock all day long.  I want a day with some clients, hair color in the am, lunch, and then haircut, style, make up and photograph in the afternoon.  I want to illuminate the beauty inside people.  It sounds so civilized. 

I am ready to let go of the pictures I have put in place about my life as a stylist.  I am ready to walk in the shoes before me, and break them in.  Unchartered territory is where I am heading.  I trust what I know, and I know I will take me wherever I go.  I want to meet with beauty professionals in the industry who are working the runway, who really get team work, who work to bring out the best in people. 

 I want to create beauty.  I want to bring out the beauty that resides in people, and it's not tall, thin, and blonde.  It's wrinkles, it's grey, it's whatever a person brings to me, and allows me to work with them.  I want to tell their stories.

To Go Grey or Not

I finally understand why some people look better without their grey hair showing.  Year ago, I was trained in a salon that believed no one should color their hair...I went with it for awhile.  But then I grew as a stylist and trained myself in hair color, I liked to learn, and frankly would get bored just cutting.  Providing hair color services in the salon created variety and more range in my skill level, a stream of income I wouldn't have had, and a whole world of creativity opened up for me.  Even so, I am very open to people showing their grey hair.  I've never said, "you must color your hair." It took a long time to understand the nuances of hair color shades, and tone, in short, I made a lot of mistakes and learned from them.  But it's not until recently, that I learned why some people absolutely should color their hair.  I never put together why some people look amazing with grey or white hair.  I knew it had some to do with these people usually were Winter types.  I never asked myself, why?  Winter types, or Summer types, or people have cool tones in their skin.  Grey hair, in all its varying tones, is cool in tone.  You put the two together and it's fabulous, especially when they have a great hair cut as well.  The look is congruent.

But, then you take a person who has warm tones in their eyes and their skin, and they are wearing grey hair, it's all wrong.   The warm tones in their skin and the cool tones of the hair, don't mix, so the person wearing it feels "Off" somehow.  These are the people that really ought to color their hair.  Warm, or natural tones look best on them.  This realization is allowing me to look deeper into the question, should I grow my hair color out?  And, if a client has been coloring their hair for a long time, and they don't know what they have underneath, I suggest they grow it out to see it.  Then reevaluate.

I don't buy that everybody should color their hair, and I don't think it necessarily makes a person look old.  If there is a vibrancy going on inside, a youthfulness, a positive attitude, a person will shine even more so, if their color is right for them, even if it is grey.  It is a look of elegance and simple beauty on the right person.

Sometimes the obvious takes awhile to sink in.

Art or Collaboration

It was a whirlwind day yesterday, double-booked all day, with no lunch, and every client was a bit intense in their own way.  I worked with a new assistant, which just added to the day's feeling it was going to require my rising up to meet the stress level.  Nothing went as planned.  One of my clients was the silver-haired client to that I added a blue accent to her color formula six weeks ago, and her hair came out navy.  This was her second appointment with me.  She offered the things she didn't like first, the bluish tinge in certain lights seems to be the least of her worries.  We got through the list, all of which made sense.  We carried on, and in the process of doing her hair, we had an interesting discussion.  We laughed about how she is quite frank about what works, what doesn't, what she likes, and what she doesn't, about anything.  But her hair for sure. 

She talked about how she made another hairstylist in the salon completely nervous when they attempted to give her a haircut and color, so much so that the stylist's hands shook.  I said, "That must have not been very much fun." 

"Have you ever had a client that just said, afterward, I don't like it, when you are finished, and they can't articulate why?"   She asked. 

And, "It's your fault." is the tone in their voice, yes, of course.  I'd rather know as I'm going if there is something that doesn't feel right to the client.  It's a living, breathing, collaboration in my opinion.  It's like Jazz.  Nobody is wanting to upstand the other, it's more about, how we create what we are offered, i.e., the client's hair, her desires, etc.  Working with hair is my art, but it has to fit the client, and only she can know what that is, and it's much easier for me to hear it as I am working than when I am finished and have to move on to my next client.

The color was much better.  She said she loved it and gave me a hug on the way out.  Even though nothing went as planned, everybody left with hair that looked good, and they seemed happy. 

Beauty School Graduates

The beauty industry turns out thousands of new hairstylists a year from beauty schools all around the world.  And I'm sure you can see the diamonds in the ruff.  Those that handle themselves with enough poise to manage building a clientele, and that can see hair, see where they are going, and most of all, have the courage to continue. Graduating from beauty school is just the beginning.  However, I just attended the San Francisco Institute of Esthetics's and Cosmetology graduation.  And I was inspired by the work these graduates executed on non-professional models.  Color placement and balance were good, the hairstyles were right for the models, and some were adventurous.  These graduates had to put on a runway show, and the hair had to hold up.  The place was packed with people, and employers of top salons were there to spot new talent for their salons.

I was glad I attended.  I felt sort of protective of the new beauty professionals, and touched by their genuine attempt to make the audience proud of their work.  Beauty school is not easy, and being new in the industry is painful.  It's a long haul of making lots of mistakes, learning from them, making little money, and wondering how you can possibly stay with it.  It's hard work, but one of the most fulfilling industries around.  Hairstylists are one of the most satisfied in their work.  But you have to keep challenging yourself to grow, and learn new things.

Thank you graduates for helping me remember where it all started for me, for sharing your creative journey with me with a freshness I hope you never lose.  May you find your own expression through hair, and learn to trust your instincts.

Color Analysis

I attended an evening about image for men and women.  The event is called "A Follow Up."  Anybody who has ever had their colors done by Jennifer Butler, and guests, may take a bag of outfits that they question whether or not they work, and Jennifer will say yeah, or nay.  Watching this process is quite remarkable.  She invited me along to talk about hair, and the changes I would make with the hair of volunteers who were willing to get up on stage.  Jennifer is the queen of color analysis.  I have seen many artists, and she is fabulous at identifying what to accent, finding the feminine within a woman, and the masculine within a man, not to mention what that person's color palette will be, what line designs work best with a particular body type.  This, I'm sure only scratches the surface of Jennifer's repitoire.

Her art seems to consist of her ability to see the essence of a person, and also what quality in that moment does a person want to emphasize, i.e. maybe the client is job hunting, dating, on the board of a women's league, or a high- powered corporate leader.   She seems to operate from a high level of intuition, along with years of training, and a background in fashion. 

She will put together a book for you, that is all about you.  It becomes a valuable resource, whether you are just now dusting of the precious jewel of you, or a veteran fashionista.  Just the few events I have attended, I have seen major transformations occur in people.

The evening was filled with laughter, and ahahs.  I was able to witness not only somebody who is truly gifted, and is living from her essence, but I also saw a generosity that spilled from her to her guests.  Part of the evening consists of the opportunity to let go, and give away the outfits in the bag.  At first, you can see the reluctance of some to let the garments go.  Then, as Jennifer gave the item to somebody else, and seeing how it was so right for that person, people began to see the magic in letting go.  People gave away everything from very expensive, designer clothing, to T shirts and purses.

I think it is a vast body of knowledge that can be helpful to the hairdresser.  Knowing the line designs of clothing, proportions, color, tonal values and how they work with hair, and why is vital information to a hairstylist.  I want to know more for own self-expression, but also in being even more skilled at my craft in helping people manifest their inner beauty on the outside.

I walked away with a confirmed feeling that although color analysis has been around a long time, it will continue to change people's lives as they step into who they really are meant to be.  And, the person who offers the service with as much experience, knowledge, and intuition as Jennifer, is the professional I will see. 

A Salon

Today is the day.  I have gathered some writers for an evening of wine, cheese and crackers, and words, in the salon where I work.  It's happening.  I can't believe it.  I am moved by the amount of support I have in my life, and a lot of that support is from my clients.  How can I thank them?   How can I let them know that without them, I don't know where I would be?  Their love and loyalty has helped to heal a broken soul.  I have come out the other side, resilient, passionate, and a great deal more self-confident. Self-confident enough, that I will share my pages with them, and let them see what goes on this heart of mine.  I will share my short comings, my thoughts about standing behind the chair, my feelings as I am doing so.  I hope for their hearts to be touched by my story, to tap into the universal story.

What compels me to do these things.   I'm not sure.  But I do know it is what I am here to do.  To create a salon has been one of my deepest desires for a very long time.  And to realize my writing life does not have to be seperate from hair, seems the ultimate synthesesis.  I don't have to run from hair to find myself.

Thank you to my loyal partner, friends, clients, coworkers, and SGI community.

Make Up Class

I just returned from LA. My friend and I attended a make up class for hairdressers at Fred Segal. I loved learning a bit more about how to apply make up. What seems so easy, is quite difficult and takes lots of practice. Once again, I was humbled, as the teacher corrected me on the way I was holding the brush, smudging away the make up I just applied, or correcting color choice. It's not as if I don't know how to appy make up, but it felt as if I knew nothing. My fingers fumbled as I brushed under the eyes, as if I had n ever held a brush before. I either brushed on too much contour on the cheeks, or not enough. I glued eyelashes to her forehead, or they fell off onto the lap of my model, or I yanked them off before opening the tweezers. There is really an art and finesse to it all, isn't there?

Seeing how make up can enhance a person's beauty, and not detract, is absolutely amazing. And, it's not as if we have to wear it everyday. But to know how and why, so that you can do it if you want. Education is freedom.

This one model came in, she was 56. She was a classic beauty, but surrounded herself with people who told her she needed to do something to change her looks, even plastic surgery. She was sabotaging herself with her make up...black liner under her eyes, no mascara, dark brown shadow on her lids, blush bright circles mid cheek area. Terrible!

I'm telling you, she was a changed woman. Natural make up made her look not only younger, but gorgeous. The green of her eyes is what you wanted to gaze right into. Her spirit became light, she twinkled as she left the class, wanting to call her boyfriend, and kids.

Layer upon layer, of smoothing, shaping, emphasizing, brightening. "Up and out." Our make up instructor, Rebecca DeHerrera, would say, over and over, and over. Rebecca was fabulous. She is not only a talented working artist, but she knows her stuff, enjoys her work, and is a great teacher.

The two-day class was set up pretty well. We had plenty of models ranging in age, ethnicity, and looks. It could have easily been a three day class. First day, theory and kit introduction. Next two days, models. I think they were free-forming it a bit. My friends kit, which cost $1600. didn't come with what a working make up artist uses. The brushes were not good quality.

The lighting needs an overhaul. It was terrible! Not enough of it, and shadows everywhere. The Fred Segal complex itself is very unattractive, but inside was quite something with high-end retailers, a great luncheon counter, and wonderful art in the salon.

Overall though, I learned plenty! Now, I feel more confident doing make up in the salon. Next, I will pursue make up for editorial. Next, I will pursue make up for editorial. And meanwhile, I can't wait to help others bring out their essence even more, and help them shine.

Barbie

Okay, I've been avoiding telling you this. But admission has to do with beauty, in some twisted way. On Sunday, my daughter had her fifth birthday party. All was well, her three friends, her Nana and Bapa, her nanny, and her two kids, all came to celebrate her day. Her auntie came as well. Well, this auntie had different values and struggles to keep in alignment with her values. Who am I kidding, we all do. But there is a way, she resists my boundaries with my own child. She has been wanting, and lamenting, that I do not want her to take my daughter to a Princess Ice Show. She says in front of the group, something like, "I've been thinking about this, and I think you need to not make this a big deal." Okay. I should mention, that she has a masters in social work.

So, we have the cake, and then the gifts. I have to admit this makes me uncomfortable and feel out of control. We all watched as my daughter, painstakingly so, unwrap her gifts, legs crossed and all. She is not a ripper, she, with care and ease, removes the tape, and so on. You get the picture.

She gets to the bag my sister gave her. It is full of individually wrapped gifts, excess is what she knows. First, there is a four-strand bracelet, chunky in style. Then, a necklace, a jewelry box, a large floral print shirt that cinches in at the waist, with a three-inch-in-diameter sparkling, rhinestone ring, right underneath a bra line, is she had one. For a grand finale, a Barbie.

She unwrapped it, and, of course, she hadn't seen one before, as far as I know. She exclaimed, "Barbie!" like she was a long, lost friend. She wanted to open the box then, and there. I whisked it out of her hand so quickly, and said "Later, we have guests now."

I wanted to cry, die, and pummel my sister. I felt betrayed, and like her actions were passive-aggressive. I couldn't even look at this Barbie. I flung it high up into the closet. The gifts felt like they were for a woman, not a FIVE years old. Not my five-year-old.

I did cry. I talked to clients at work. My grounded older clients said, don't sweat it. Let her have them. There is no harm done. The more you resist, the more your daughter will want them.

My partner said he overheard our daughter playing in her room. She was sitting on the bed, looking at her valentines from school. Of course, there were a few Princess theme valentines. She told them, "You know, my mama doesn't like you."

I laughed, and then I felt sad. I can't get anything by her. She is tuned into me, more than anybody I know.

I came home from work on Monday, pulled the exiled Barbie down out of the closet, and gave it to her. It is disgusting for me to look at, nothing real about her. My daughter is playing with it a bit, she complains that the plastic shoes come off too easily.

This is worth a therapy session I am sure. But for now, Barbie has made her way into my home and I am bereft. and still digesting it all.

Thrills

There is nothing more exciting to me as a hairstylist than to help a woman feel beautiful.  On Saturday, I had a client who wanted to play.  We had determined ahead of time that we would do some hair color, which we hadn't done in a very long time.  We also decided we would take a photo. She had white and gray hair, mixed with 20% of her natural level 5 to 6, with a cool tone.

This was my approach.  I sectioned off the hair with a Pleating section, a type of zigzag section around the parietal. Pleating is from one of Teri Dougherty's collections.  Then, instead of using one color on top, I used a brick laying pattern, with the same size sections.  I used a Majorel, level 4, 20 vol. on the bottom of the zigzag, and 8.13 (1/2), 8 (1/2), 20 vol. on top triangles.

The results were wonderful,  a little more dramatic than her natural look, with a sparkle.  She loved it, and I think she left feeling a bit better about herself.

I'll upload the photo as soon as I figure out how.  

High Heels

I've often wondered why it is people find high heels attractive to women.  It visually seems off balance to me.  It makes women look like they are teetering, distorting their bodies into a forward position.  They certainly can't run.  Although maybe they would just kick them off.  Or, maybe they would be dropped at the curb by their lover, so they wouldn't have to walk.  Not so attractive either. The idea of heels on hairstylists is another idea I haven't been able to wrap my mind around.  So we stand all day, at least four days a week at the least, and wear heels?

 I remember when I first started doing hair 27 years ago, I wore spike heels to work every day.  The older stylists I'm sure thought I was crazy.  They wore cowboy boots.  Oh, yeah those are better for your feet.  There weren't many options for fashionable, comfortable shoes then.

A couple of the stylists at work wear heels every day.  I marvel at how they do it.  They can't walk very fast.  They have beautiful legs, and no apparent varicose veins, unlike my legs, which have squiggles all over the place. 

 Is it cultural?  Both are the second generation from other countries.  Some of it seems like they just don't think it's sexy to not wear them.  I missed that part of the beauty school program, where we needed to dress sexy for work. 

These same stylists tell me that in the large, more prestigious salons, you are expected to wear high heels.  And they are unkind if you don't adhere to the off-kilter, sexist, misogynistic, dress code.  I guess I wouldn't last two minutes in a salon like that. 

Yes, as hairstylists we get to play, and be creative with our dress as our self-expression.  It's fun.  Where I draw the line is when it comes to discomfort and deformity.

These Z Coils are my favorite!   They are an example of my kind of shoe for work.  I'm not saying I don't wear heels, I just don't wear them 24/7 at work, where I stand most of the day. 

Alopecia

I pass up most Google alerts, but this one caught my eye.  A premature bald woman takes her mother into a salon for her 77th birthday to have her hair and nails done.  A situation that would have traumatized her before.  In fact, she gave up going to them, thinking they were places for people with hair, and she didn't belong. I am moved by her courage, and the inner work she must have done on herself to be confident enough to walk into the salon.  A situation that could have turned heads. 

 Although, I like to think of hairstylists being sensitive to all types of people with all sorts of obvious physical differences, it depends on where you go.  Not all salons are friendly, and in fact, are quite full of themselves and give the profession a bad reputation.  Salons can intimidate and make people feel unfomfortable.

As I read Cheryl Carvery's post, I recalled a client I once gave a haircut to, rather, I gave her very expensive wig.  I worked in one chair salon.  It was private, and I know she appreciated the quiet.  She developed alopecia right around sixteen years old.  She too, seemed to have courage and an inner strength that I felt moved by. 

The wig sparkeled with a level 7, a mid-blonde, with honey highlights.  We were about to shampoo, she held the sides to keep it one her head, and it slipped off.  Her pale, bald head exposed, she reached for the wig with a quick hand and put it back on.  The moment seemed longer than most, discomfort made me tighten and want to take care of her.

As I combed and cut, she shared her history.  I felt honored to be with her.  So much wisdom wrapped up in one woman, who I thought was attractive with, or without hair.  We cut a very modern shape into the hair, long strands fell to the floor.  It was then that she decided to tell me that this beautiful wig was $2000.  I trembled at the thought.  One wrong snip could drain my bank account.   What if she didn't like the cut?   The pressure felt heavy on my chest, until I realized I could sink or swim.  My choice.

We dried her hair and she loved it.  I felt I was given a gift of tenderness, a rare opportunity to expereince her vulnerablity, and therefore experience my own.   I had no choice to look at my own discomfort, and own fear at seeing baldness. 

I think the more women like these can enter salons, own their baldness, and allow us into their human condition, the greater the healing.  One act of courage after another frees us all.

Yesterday

Pressure mounts as I try to meet writing deadlines.  My current article seems more difficult to write than others.  Being with clients is a great counter point to writing.  Working with my hands, feeling the hair, studying hairlines, discerning differences between tones in the hair.  My fingers move, as if it's all been mapped out before.  They know just what to do.

Each client is so different.  My last one yesterday is a bit quirky, funny and down to earth.  We laughed about the round brush that felt tortuous to her the first time she sat in my chair.   She kept pulling away, really, as if I was pulling hair right out of her head.   As I was drying her hair yesterday, she said, "Are you sure that is not that brush?" 

I giggled, "No, it's not."  I pulled every brush out of my box, and sure enough, we spotted the bad brush.  Her eyes grew to the size of golf balls, "That's it!"  She shrieked. 

"I knew you would recognize it."  She is a photographer.  In fact, we are going to trade a headshot of myself for the website and my blog (I dislike the current one), for her haircut and color yesterday. 

She said, "Why don't we take a picture of the brush, in different settings."  So, don't be surprised if you see a series of photos posted soon, entitled, "The Hair Brush." 

I was at a party the other night.  It was the birthday of a fellow writer's husband.  Our other fellow writer was there and is currently going through chemo.  She has breast cancer.  She is a lovely woman to talk to, and a talented writer.  With our backs leaned against the wall, she said, "Now that I've lost my hair, I find myself staring at people and imagining what they would look like bald."  Hair is one of the most definitive features on our body, and if we didn't have it, how vulnerable is that?

Balancing Life

I've got a lot of questions today. The balance of writing, working behind the chair, daughter time and partner  time, let alone time for myself is one that is fit for the finest circus.  I mean and I love everything I'm doing.  Is the doing about the doing though?   What would it be like to not do for a change, or are doers always fantasizing about the possibility of not doing?  Is the doing a cover up, for fear nothing will happen?    Some would say, "Get yourself to a therapist, quick."  But I feel done with that for now.

I heard, while traveling in India for six months, years ago, "whatever you are here to do, will be done through you, whether you are consciously working on it or not." 

So does it happen unconsciously?  Is it magic?  Does it happen while I sleep?  A simple guided tour map of our life handed to us as we slipped into the world, would be helpful.  We wouldn't have to know all the details, that would be dull and boring.  But if we knew that we would be doing exactly what we are to do this life, we could relax.  Take a vacation, read a book with our feet up on the sofa, take more walks and breathe in more fresh air, snuggle with our lover, play with our kids.

So, do you think hearing that from the teacher has helped any?  I mean, I'm supposed to know it, right?  But I do what I do, what I think I'm supposed to do, creating my own reality, full of it's limitations, every minute.  Am I running from something, or to something?  If I stop long enough, I can see I am still with me.

How can I stop, when there is so much to do.  So many things in life I have yet to experience.  I want to do hair the rest of my life and do it well, masterfully.  Maybe I don't need to stand behind the chair 4/7.  I want to travel to Baja, with my family and see the whales birth, and visit the Rodin museum in Paris, visit Africa and look into the eyes of a gorilla, and smell the earth, visit my mentor in Japan and see the cherry trees in bloom.  I want to experience having a real conversation with my mother, without her talking over me, I want to meet with teams of highly creative people, talk to them, create together.  I want to finish my book, I want to...the list is long.  How can one stop?

I will continue to do because I have to.  A life not verging on insanity will have to come some other time. 

Humility

I left work the other day feeling as though I had just left beauty school, yes a Rocky like attitude of I can do anything, let me have at those clients.  On the other hand, a train load of inexperience and naivete.  The day did not start well with a relatively new client called because the demi-permanent color we did the other day was a little transparent on the gray hair.  So, I did what I thought I needed to do, have her come back in and retouch the color.  When she came in she suggested we play.  I didn't have the time to play.  So, we decided to tone the fettuccine size pieces with special effect colors, and retouch the level 5 base.  I told her I was a bit concerned that every time I did her hair, it's not quite right it seemed.   "But then it is."

This is the second time I have had to reappoint her because she wasn't happy.  We agreed we refining what she wants her hair to look like.  Her hair looked great when she left.  Candy apple red, mixed with burgundy wine pieces, alternating with 9.3 and 8N, 9% developer.  Pretty.  We will have to drop her base to a level 4 next time.

Then two cancellations in the middle of my day. Fatigue started to work its way into my body.  Then I had another stylists client sit in my chair for the first time, the other hairstylist is out on leave.   Her silver hair, that we weaved with spaghetti size pieces with a level 5N 20 vol., with a hint of blue accent (she said it turned warm every time with a formulation of 5NN), alternating with 6.1 vol.  The result was a navy blue where the 5N, blue accent was placed.  Blue hair, it was beautiful and would have been right for many other clients of mine who love to play.  But, not blue hair, not on this client.  I could see the blue accent oxidizing immediately.   I thought, "It will darken."  And it did, but into a deep navy blue.  My fear is that it will lighten to a shade of pale blue as she shampoos her hair.  I've been doing hair 27 years,this should not have happened, not to this client.  I think I was intimidated about seeing her.  She is the kind of person that finds it hard to let go, who needs to have her fingers in the haircut, and blow-dry her own hair.  I walked away from the chair as she did so. I alerted the other stylists, did I indeed she make the biggest mistake ever?

And to boot, I don't love what her and the other stylist are doing with her hair, so I was doing something I didn't believe looked good even in the best case scenario. It's not easy to see that I compromised my work, my ideas,and my sensibilities. I delicately said, "let's try something different, I think it could look better."  But change is too scary for her, she is much to insecure. Or maybe I am too soft to insist she needs to change.

I wanted to leave the salon.  I wanted to quit doing hair for a moment. I half expected her to call, and I suppose I still do.  Humility comes up and works its way into my life once again. Well, suffice it to say, I think I sabotaged myself.  And that is a difficult thing to look at.

The only saving grace was the primaries.  What an exciting time in history!