Gloria Heads

When I lay in bed the other day, sick with the flu, my five year old daughter brought a stack of books in to read to me.  When she was done with that, she brought in her "Gloria" head.  These are the heads we learned cutting on in beauty school.  She brought brushes, combs, clips and ribbons.  She climbed up and proceeded to give a class.  "You hold the hair like this, take this piece and move it over here.  Put a clip here." etc.  She said, "I amSavanna."   She has watched many Bumble and  Bumble classes at the salon, with Savanna teaching.  She has the mannerisms, language and dexterity of a true teacher.  She is sure of herself and gives clear instruction. 

In my flu stupor, I told her so.  I have to say, I felt better afterwards.

Green, Green, Green

Green, green, green, is all I have on my mind.  So, from my research so far, I can see the hair salons are slow to change. California is ahead of the game in terms of setting up county wide programs which certify green business.  As of yet there are not standards for salons.  However, if you want to pay a private company that will certify, with standards that work for any business-- the practices are generic and work for any business.  I'm thinking why can't this basic list of practices work for the county wide programs that are free? No answers yet.  But I am on a hunt.  We can't keep thinking we have no impact.  The beauty industry has got to take responsibility for the waste we produce, and lessen our use of resources.

I'll keep you posted.

More on the Aging Stylist

Now, I can see the other side.  My post the other day about being an aging stylist, the crone of the salon, and talking about the assistants and young stylists, has led me to this:  these younger additions to the beauty industry who have no fear of tattoos, (a California fetish), or changing their hair as often as they can, and pierce their bodies, will be sixty years old someday as well.  (I wonder what their tattoos will look like)  How they will defy their age?  Sixty will look completely different for them, as it will for me from my mother's generation.  Kudos to them for doing what they please with their look.  For being willing to look different from everybody else, in terms of their hair. I can't tell you how sad it is for me as a hairdresser to see older women, say around fifty years and older, who start restricting themselves, telling themselves they need to look older now.  They don't play anymore,they dress down, then they give up completely, barely changing out of sweat pants. It doesn't have to be this way.

Calling all Green Hairstylists & Hair Salon Owners

Back in the saddle.  It's been a few days.  I get rusty when I don't write.  I've been consumed with with researching for an article I want to write. It's about making Green choices in the beauty industry; hair salons the focus. Last night I was out with another hairstylist/friend, and I realized through talking with her, that I am passionate about this topic.  And, in my research so far, there is not a lot of information available.  In other words, I don't think being Green has really hit hair salons yet. 

So, I have a request.  If any salons, or stylists have decided to go Green, please contact me, and let me know what you are doing in the salon to help the environment. I will be submitting the article to various magazines.

Thanks.

A La Carte

Okay, my post from two days ago, was a bit of a rant.  Just me, trying to find my place in the social order.  It's looking like I'm the crone, the oldest in the bunch.  I can delicately support those younger than I.  I needed support when I was their age.   In our day long, salon pow wow, with the consulting firm went well.  As I suspected, it will take time to implement the changes we would like to make.  It was good to be on neutral territory.  People did feel comfortable enough to bring up issues with the people they have grievances with.  We did the Myers Briggs Test. It helped to identify what kind of people we are individually, and as a group. I being the only introvert, by five points.  But the majority of the folks there have no follow through.  Interesting to note. And they are all extroverts!  So, they feed off the salon being loud and busy.  What is my work here?  Take deep breaths.

I gave a two-hour class the other night at the salon.  I was coming off the flu, and still a mess, looking back.  I pulled my inner resources together and gave the class anyway.  This class had been scheduled for eons though, I needed to follow through.  As it turned out, the other stylist is an extrovert, and loves being the star, so she held center stage most of the time.  We taught what we had learned at Terri Dougherty's class.  And when it came time for the haircut demo, I completely started making up my own haircut. In my flu stupor, I even said, "Forget the diagram, it's wrong."  And I proceeded to give the model the cut, incorrectly.  I felt I couldn't let the model know that.  I let everybody know afterwards.

From that mistake, I learned the correct way to do the haircut.  It's from this year's collection, inspired by food.  This haircut is awesome for curly or straight hair.  It's called A La Carte.  Three sections and your done.  Not for the Sassoon followers.  I'll put up the pictures, soon as I get them.  We had four fabulous models, all very different from each other.  A great time was had by all.  Another humbling experience to add to the list.

An Aging Stylist

I know it's probably not hip to speak of ones age, particularly a woman, but I have styling hair for 27 years, some days I lose count, but things are changing in the industry, and I don't know how I am fairing. I now wear readers, and yes, they hang on the tip of my nose, which ages me, maybe, 20 years.  That makes me 67 years old.  I could probably stand to wear glasses, which would age me still, maybe 10 years, which would make me 57 years old.  But I can't admit it to myself yet, that I may need glasses, or do.

The stylists around me, particularly, the apprentices paint their bodies with tattoos.  I look like plain, square, Jane, because I am tattoo-less, a rarity in California, except maybe if your 57 years old and need glasses.  But even my one client who is in her 70's got her ankle tattooed.

These same apprentices wear the lowest cut blouses and tops, and they are full in figure.  I about died when one of them came with the cell phone tucked right there in her cleavage, and she was sitting at the front desk, which if you stood there, you were right on top of the situation, no where for your eyes to go, but there.

High heels abound in the salon.  Platforms, skinny heels, all shapes and sizes, 3 inches height the minimum.  My varicose veins hurt just looking at them.

The conversation I overhear in the chair feels disingenuous and gives our industry a bad name.  Sexism is still alive and well. Who's fault is it?  The hairstylist who puts up with it, and allows it?  Or the perpetrator?  We all have our part.

We have music days at the salon, which doesn't always work out.  Each stylist gets a couple of days a month to choose what they want to listen to all day.  Hard rock and and some really foul hip-hop is what is played by some. Okay, now I feel I am unpopular, and not very hip.

The sense of entitlement that seems to go along with the music, the tattoos, the cleavage is most unbearable.  Laziness and excuses abound as explanations for what is a fundamental lack of respect for themselves and their jobs, as if to say, "If I fool you, maybe I will fool myself."  They are only fooling themselves.

Do I have their respect?  I don't know, I barely know what to say to them.  I do my work, and am very absorbed when clients sit in my chair.  I know I do need to communicate with them, I'm sure they must have much to teach me, if I would only open to them.  But I am unsympathetic to their stories, so I keep my mouth shut.

I don't think I am fairing well with these changes.  But I love what I do.  I enjoy where I work.  Our salon is better than most.  The change that needs to happen is within myself, clearly, this is where I have control.  Although, I can't remember where to begin.  The change that it would require of me is painstaking, and humbling.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I attended an event in Phoenix last year, on this day.  The cabdriver that picked us up wore a hat, and was a bit chatty.  He was slight and wiry in frame, and maybe 55 years old.  Once we got in the cab, we made small talk about the weather and the fact that it was a holiday.  I don't know why they make such a big deal about this guy (Martin Luther King Jr.), all he ever did was have a dream.  I about fell over. "What?  How you could you say such a thing?  He is one of the great thinkers and leaders of this century, and a tireless crusader for human rights.  He spoke out, and worked hard against injustice of every kind." I wanted to say.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Life's most persistent question is, What are you doing for others?"

It can be overwhelming to see the homeless building in numbers under the freeway, and the jobless rate increasing, the richer getting richer.  How can I make a difference in the well of need that exists in the world? Apathy, and a state of denial seem an easier place to go.

Learning to get along with each other is the order for today, seems appropriate on this holiday.  A day, where people can get their concerns heard and work towards change.  The salon is closed.  We will work with a consulting group to try and work out our issues.  I've never worked in a salon where issues were prevalent enough to warrant outside help.   

To get along  seems simple, but I'm a person who avoids conflict usually.   Silence is not always better.  Complacency is worse.   I resist and despise any rah rah work that will inspire change for a day.  Will lasting change be the result?  It's up to each of us.  The one thing I can do is to become part of the solution.  I will make sure my voice is heard today, and speak up for those who can't. 

Thank you Martin for your efforts, and giving your life to a just cause, your efforts were not in vain.

Called In Sick

Late Monday afternoon, while at the salon, in the back of my throat I felt that, you know, that little tickle, and my energy began to drain right out my feet.  I was suspicious, so I took five Immune capsules, which have helped me in the past, avoid all preschool bugs.  I barely ate, and went to bad, only to wake up feeling zonked.  All I could do was sleep, and managed to get one post out, but forget the trillion other things I had to do. Then Wednesday came.  I knew I had a full day at the salon, and just the night before talked it over with the receptionist.  "Yes, I will be there."  You have to know something about me.  My ability to see my situation clearly when it involves my best interest, is not my strong point.  I knew I was flat on my back and would not be able to do my work well, not to mention, be contagious.  It took my daughter yelling out a startling cry as she threw up on herself, for me to say to myself, "You are not going to work today."  And I am glad I came to my senses.

Sure enough, clients were gracious and rescheduled, and the staff at work was helpful.  I'm still dragging today, but will go in tomorrow.  See how I am?  But I've got a full day, and a class to teach in the evening.  I've got to show up, even though, the occasional shiver that runs up my body makes me want to run for the covers.

Would this be considered strong work ethics and loyalty to my clients, or just plain crazy?

Anne Sagendorph

I have known Anne for probably 20 years. For as long as I have known her she has been a Business Coach.  She used to sit in my friend's chair and we would exchange hello's while she received a few variations of an asymmetrical, Sassoon cut.

One day, I decided to work with her as a client, and my business changed.  In my sessions with Anne, I became clear about, and acknowledged the value I offer clients.  My thoughts about my business crystallized before my very eyes, and I created a statement for myself and my business, that would symbolize this value.  I use this statement on my website.  It gives people a strong sense of what I do, and who I am before even meeting me. With Anne, I received permission to actually charge what I think my services, and time, are worth, which created a huge shift in feeling reciprocated, and loving my work even more.

I love my work so much, she eventually came to sit in my chair. Her hair seems to change as much as I see Anne shift within her business of coaching people. Now, it is not uncommon for her to ask for something different every couple of months to match this ever changing being. The change she would allow herself to move through in her work, is now reflected in her hair. 

We have uncovered her femininity, her angelic, whimsical, and playful self.  We've done splashes of yellow, magenta, olive green, and rose tones, some would say it's a funky look.  II don't know if her hair is funky, but it's safe to say she has found her "look", and yet delights in seeing a picture with short bang, and saying, "How about if we move in this direction."  This is a woman who could not bare to see her forehead, and who had one style for a very long time.

She is more herself today then I have ever witnessed her be before. She is sassy, adventurous, and smart, and truly gifted as a business coach.

You go Anne.  And thank you for the gift of doing your hair and trusting me to create for you.  This is a woman who redefines the age of 60.

For more information on the best business coach ever, check out:  www.beyondbusinessasusual.com  

Not a Simple Cut: Tales from a Hairdresser

The reading date is set.  It will be the first public reading, in a very long time, from my book.  I've been working on this project for10 years, and I'm focusing in on the first 100 pages to get it to an editor.  Although,I am thrilled to have the date set, and sure it is time to start building energy around the book, I am terrified.  The material has become much more personal than I ever thought it would, and richer because of it.  Do I really want my clients, who will fill the audience, to know me that well?

Ugh.  Self-doubt would like to settle in my body.  My brain wants to think it has control, by saying nasty little things to me, like, "Maybe it's too soon."  "You're getting ahead of yourself."  "You're diffusing the energy of the book, so it will be anticlimactic when it gets published, if it publishes."  Dealing with the demons are a full-time job these days.

Even so, I find myself talking about the date, and letting clients know. I've invited some friends from the Squaw Valley Writer's Conference to read with me, their company and support will be a great help.  You know sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, regardless of the fear that is the size of football in your gut?  This is one of those things, I've just got to do.

Oh, yeah.  The date is February 28, 2008 at Keter Salon 1815 Suite A Fourth Street, Berkeley, CA  94710.

More on No War and Hair Growth

Of course the presidential primaries have my clients talking, but what's got them saying, "Huh, what do you think about that?" is Hilary Clinton. The fact that she is smart, can debate with the boys, and shed tears on camera has caught the public by surprise.  And what was I just saying about the Princess dilemma, and my clients suggestion that maybe my daughter is simply manifesting the Feminine?  Perhaps this culture is ready for a change from the patriarchy.  I take issue with some of what Hilary doesn't offer, but I certainly think she can hold her own. Does she have charisma?  Not exactly.   Does she fill me with a sense of hope?  Not really.  Is it the fact that she is a thinking, feeling woman going to catapult her to sitting in the White House?  Possibly.

Maybe we are ready for the Feminine.  But the question I ask now is, are we ready for Peace?

My client growing her hair as a anti-war statement is still on my mind.  It's never been just about the hair.  People have been making their heads the centerpiece of their political, spiritual, and psychological expression for a very long time.  I am touched by my client's simple act. It's peaceful.

NO WAR- She's Letting Her Hair Grow

There are three clients who are friends, all of them are artists.  I respect each and every one of them for manifesting themselves as artists, who never stop creating. One of them teaches classes on Tarot collages, as a way of exploring the different cards of the tarot deck.  She has an amazing gift with the cards, some of the knowledge handed down to her by her mother, some she has learned in her own continual study.  She continues to study it, teach it and offer the knowledge to her friends and acquaintances.  I took my daughter to her to have her cards read when she turned three years old, the candle was lit, the table set, and my daughter picked the cards, and they were explained in a simple way.

She had an art opening Friday night called "Tarage" A Collabrative Tarot & Collage Journey, and her work, as well as the participants,   displayed well in this tiny room of the Oakopolis Creativity Center.   The collages were grouped by Major Arcana, and Minor Arcana, etc., all 78 cards represented.  Quite stunning !  She happened to be sick that night, so we thought she wouldn't show, her friends hung the show.

One of the three, besides the one who teaches, filled me in on the process of the workshop, and then says to me, "You won't be seeing be for awhile, I am letting my hair grow,everywhere, in response to the war in Iraq.  I will not cut it until the war is over.  I actually heard a mother and daughter interviewed on KPFA, who are doing the same.  I felt inspired.  It's something I can do."

We all have to find our own response, that something that we can do to say NO WAR.  Isn't art a response to war?  Creating pieces of beauty, so our minds can focus on what is right in the world.

The Taroist did show and sat, she didn't appear well at all.  But we gave her great encouragement, for she is a master.

More on Little Miss Princess

So a client came in today and gave another perspective about my dilemma regarding too much Princess identifying by my five-year- old girl. She said,"You know a spiritual perspective is that there has been way too much masculine energy running in this country, in the world for that matter...and that it is time for the feminine."

So, perhaps my daughter came in, completely got the program, and started running her feminine energy.  Not a girl acting like boy, or using her girlishness in a negative way to get what she needs, but simply expressing herself as a girl.  Innocence on one hand, and maybe a deep knowing on the other.  And the drama plays itself out until there is balance in the land.

Hm.

Feeling Poor and Ugly

Because of the way she carries herself, unafraid of who she is, unafraid of looking different, my client Francois is somebody I loved the minute I met her.   Always giving a yes to my ideas for her hair, after-all there is always a chance we shall land upon something better.

"A big girl" she calls herself, as if to saythe sensuality that oozes from every cell of her body, or the way her nose turns up, and her green eyes flirt, she will not get what she wants.

Artistry is the fiber from which she is made, generosity abounds beyond her ability at times and most people's capability, and yet where both are concerned she is an expert.

As she said to our friend, "It's one thing to be poor, but another to be ugly and poor."  Feeling the pinch financially, having the appointment set, but not knowing if she would be able to do it.  I bow to you Francois, and for me and your good friend to give to you your hair services because money is short...is nothing short of an honor.

I can only say, our ties go way beyond the confines of time and space.  We must help each other, and together is easier, even though individually we may hurt in our own particular ways.

Because it is the right thing to do.  And you would do the same for any of your friends.

New Year Musings

Last night was simple but sweet.  After riding Bart to the city with my daughter and meeting my partner in Union Square, in San Francisco, we visited the tree, the village scene at the Hilton, walked up to Chinatown, and had dinner at Kan's. By the end of our evening in the city, my daughter crumbled as we walked back to the car, and was snoring within minutes of driving home. I have to say, I had never seen so many women dressed in 3" to 4" spiked heels, and above-the-knee, lightweight, halter dresses at this time of year. I, who cannot stand to be the slightest of cold, dressed in five layers, two sets of tights, a hat, and my Z coils. I was glad about it.

I thought I would just go to bed when we got home but then thought better of it. I thought, no, even though I won't make it until midnight, ritual is important to me. And for the last several years, we have burned papers filled with what we want to let go of and posted what we want to bring in on the bulletin board, although this year it will go on my altar. Then we had a few little snacks, with some port and tea.  Then said good night.

This will be a wonderful year, with much to look forward to.  I hope to have my book completed this year, the completion of at least a ten-year project. I hope to do many readings in book groups, salons, poetry open mikes, etc.  I want to strengthen my relationship with my partner, my daughter and friends, and my Buddhist practice. I want to bring forth what I am to be.

And in regards to beauty.  Beauty in all its manifestations is vital to me, the expression of it is essential, and this has not changed. My ideas about Beauty are changing, and how mainstream they are, I don't know, they may be different than even my friends and colleagues.  But the idea that I could be wearing what I was comfortable in and feeling completely unique in the expression, I don't know, somehow, I felt confident, and like I had arrived in my own life.

Now, I want to give back.

And how I will do that is through my writing.

Good Fortune

The passing of another year.  Another year doing hair. Funny how my life not only speeds by, but that it didn't go exactly how I thought it would. My life is better for it to tell you the truth, I couldn't have imagined the great gifts in my life.  I do feel I am one of the luckiest people in the world.  I love what I do for a living, and am even more passionate about it today than when I first started 26 years ago.  And it's not just about the beautiful, fun hair I get to create, but the clients I interact with as well. More times this year than any other, I've had clients call or email to say they love their hair.  The gesture of taking time out of their day to let me know that is simply kind.

My client who says,"I'm known to have the cool hair now." Her last visit, she went on about how, "I have never been so consistently listened to in any profession or anybody for that matter, let alone by my previous hairdressers." I love that.

Not only do they appreciate me and let me know that, but they extend their loving gestures towards my family. One client in particular, throughout the year will make my daughter clothing, clothing she loves.  She hand stitches these garments, finds just the right buttons, the detailing blows me away. She knows what a little girl would love, or at least my little girl,  a box of ribbons for her hair, etc.

Another client gave her the most beautiful Christmas ornament for the tree. Exquisite, with a holiday beaded necklace for her that jingles every time she moves, all very tasteful.  This same client makes sure all the assistants, and the receptionist get a little something, this year it was a Pete's coffee card.  Not only does she book her appointments out a year, every three weeks, but she is generous each appointment. Last but not least, worth more than any and all of the above, she is pleasant to be around.

I am grateful for the work I do, the people I work with, and the clients I see.  I thank all of you for your kind words, the love you extend to me and my family, and the trust you place in me to create for you. I am a blessed woman.

Princess Christmas

More on the Princess theme.  So you do the best you can with what you have.  The fight against mainstream, corporate ideas like Disney, can be lonely.  Is it a battle I need to wage?  I think it's in my daughter's best interest that I do, but does it encourage a possible rebellion later, by not accepting her fantasy play?  While we are dressing for dinner, she is in tears because she wants to be as "pretty as me."  Where does the comparing come from? Before Auntie gives the gifts that are already wrapped to my daughter, she asks me, in front of her sister-in-law, "Is it okay if I give her the Minnie the Mouse dress and the Ariel dress as a gift?"  

I answered, "Well...okay."  They were already wrapped.  I felt like the evil mother.

Later, she brings out a coat for her, unwrapped.  "Can I give her this?"  The asking permission stems from already knowing the answer, but wanting to pursue the answer she wants to hear. 

"Yes, I'm sure she will like that.  Then maybe give the coat instead of the dresses, or just one of them."

"I asked you earlier."

"I know, but that is a lot of gifts, she will just be overwhelmed."

"Okay, well I don't know which one is which, so we will just flag them when they come up."

"Okay."

So, my daughter opens up the package, and it's the Ariel dress.  She lets out a cry of joy.   But doesn't put it on all day, thank God.  I think this is my problem.  I can't stand up to the pressure, and I can't let go of my belief that she is being spoon fed empty, uncreative play.  I am mushy all around and this makes me very unhappy.

As far as the comparing herself to me and others with how she looks, I hope this is not the beginning of an issue we will have to be contending with later. 

Is this what clients do, compare themselves to me, is there something I am exuding that creates this response?

Princess Overload

My daughter is just about five years old.  She is a charming, loving, and smart, and knows what she wants.  However, this stage we are going through now has me completely turned upside down.  She breathes, sleeps and talks Princess-- changing into Princess dresses that people have given to her immediately when she gets home from school.  The other day I thought I would fall over, grief-stricken, when she was dancing around and singing, "I'm a Barbie, I'm a Barbie."  My partner overheard and gave me a big smile, saying without having to say, "it's time you heal the princess within." The other day she talked about Princesses having long nails.  I muttered, "There are plenty of princesses that have short nails." 

She answered, "No there is not.  We are just pretending."

In the parent-teacher conference the other day they even said, "The Princess thing is a little over the top."  I exclaimed, "I know, and she doesn't even watch TV."

So where is she getting it?  The other girls, bill boards for more Disney films we see on the way to school,viewing Disney schlock at her Auntie's house.  What little she has watched has made a major impact on her psyche.  Are the pictures,and discussion amongst her friends tapping into the archetypal?  Or is my being a hairstylist and applying lipstick before I walk out the door contributing to her fantasies?  It appears there are lots of factors.

How long will this go on though?  I will be styling hair for the foreseeable future.  I've got to find a way to ask her about it, to have dialogue with her.  Otherwise, I will, as I have before, toss out anything smells of Princess in the wee hours of the morning while she sleeps. 

Is this a sign of our times?  I just don't remember identifying with princesses when I was her age.  The advertising, marketers have beat this one into the ground, and for what?  I'm saddened at the loss of their own pictures rather than Disney pictures in their head.  I'm saddened at the ways I contribute to keeping this story alive for her as well.

The Politics of Beauty

Beauty is ancient and yet so controversial. If I let on that  I am interested in it, I may be shunned or seen as non-progressive, non-feminist,or simply vein. Beauty, not just looking good on the outside, requires  a journey inward, a tapping into the mystical, ethereal world that lives within and across all time and place. Jewels line the path that lead into ones own inner life, if I am strong and daring enough. The jewels are bright and glimmer like sunlight when the darkness of the night comes.  I must shed all that I know,or perceive or have heard about what beauty is, and discover what is true for me--naked in the dark. The senses become pronounced, breathing becomes easier and enlivens my body, melting the delusion away.

But the ego doesn't want to let go, I want to hold onto the anger, it's much easier than looking at myself naked in the dark. Just keep breathing, that's it, let it all go. Pretty soon the eyes begin to  shine.  People want to know what I am doing. A man looked at me in the cafe this morning as I passed.

This pathway of breathing into my own awareness, stillness, and livliness, invites joy into my life.  It spills over and manifest itself in the detailing of the feminine expression, in whatever form that may be, whether one is male or female.  The obvious is through what fabric I drape my body in, and haircolors I play with, or whether I decide on layering my hair or not, short or not, etc. etc.  Beauty is the marriage of the internal and the external.

Ethics in the Chair, and Behind It

I have a colleague who is will be on maternity leave for four months.  I will be seeing some of her clients while she is out. I appreciate the referrals, of course. However, there are two, so far, who must blow dry their own hair, she tells me.  I'm confused here, I thought it was my job to show clients how it can look before they go home. These women are in their 50's or 60's perhaps, and seem to be very bright, competent women.  I don't understand.  Are they just unwilling to give up control for a few minutes?  Where is the insistence coming from?  And, most importantly, how do I want to handle the situation when they are in my chair? This is my profession, and they are in my chair...I want to blow dry their hair and complete the service.  I wouldn't think to tell a professional how to finish their job, especially if it had nothing to do with the performance later at home.  In fact, I need to blow the hair dry, whether it is worn curly and dried with the diffuser, or worn straight and flat-ironed.  I can see when I am drying it, where I might need to remove weight, or remove corners or, length...running my fingers through it allows me to know where I need to finesse the cut.

I'm conflicted about how to handle this with these clients. Allowing them to take control, and for me to stand back while they do this, feels funny.  Because they are not my clients, I feel I have room to say, "This is not how I do it."  Should the client have what she wants, and we do everything to provide that, including handing the blow dryer over to them.  This feels awkward, like I'm abandoning my professional ethics.  I don't want to give up control. 

 If I do hand the dryer over, than I feel that is when my service is over, and I leave the room.